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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
to touch my celebrity cyst.
Hi. Right this way, please.
- Yeah. - Huh?
You feel stupid? What about us?
- That'll keep you going on a hot day. - Can we get to work?
You pulled her hair! You won't be getting a second warning!
Look.
I prefer the fine arts, henceforth, today...
- And here is your gift voucher to Red Lobster. - Thank you so much.
It's just your stress unraveling itself.
I did not agree to wrestle you! I did not agree!
Hello, I am Jimmy Carter,
I'm inclined to reserve all judgments,
There's a drug in those cookies.
What, did we hit a little speed bump?
Wow. You're still here.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.
But-But that's Tony down there. It's not Andy.
We've gone to commercial!
We're just listening for his call
Thankful for this friendly, friendly world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, no. Zmuda, I'm gonna kill you.
Come on. Everybody.
I'm not a comedian. I don't do jokes.
Hey, hot shot. How you doin'?
- Yeah. - What's your name?
- Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - What?
I am a national TV star,
We'll have a garage sale. No, I'm over and out.
- I make more money in one day than you do... - Kaufman!
- Here comes Santa Claus - Boys and girls, you're not gonna believe this!
Andy, look in my eye...
I'm keepin' flowers in full bloom
Yuck.
With each day so full of joy
Kaufman's crappin' on my act!
He's an absolute embarrassment to humanity, this man from Hollywood.
Lawler, I did not agree to this. This is against the rules!
Lawler is gonna settle a score for each and every one of us,
Andy is sick.
Right here
Having you
I brought you some Haagen-Dazs.
The cheers turned to jeers.
It's my special! I have creative control. Now roll it!
With the sky so full of stars.
I would like to use the phone!
Andy's up in his room?
the imitations.
I'm going to the Philippines.
Okay. Let's try two of those.
Look, it pains me to say this,
Are you listening to me?
Record!
Ladies and gentlemen, uh,
- Whatever you want. - Bonus! Thank you very much.
Kaufman!
I don't want to tell them.
Hi, Andy.
You give 'em Mighty Mouse. You give 'em Elvis.
You have all just participated in a happening.
Thank you, Andy. I'm delighted to be here. It's overwhelming to me.
All right. Be my guest. Book him.
This is artsy-fartsy shit. I mean, what--
I got the wings of a dove
If you believe
- Hi. - Now you can't even tell the difference.
And the bird goes--
- There's no show for you. - Wh-What do you want me to do?
When I'm famous, I'm gonna sell these,
Okay.
Bob and I...
If there is a woman here tonight who can come up here and prove me wrong,
Andy, Merv does not get hate mail.
Funny.
Although I've got to leave
And they sing Oh, ain't you glad you're single
It's just that we feel that, well, you and the program...
So, all my friends good-bye
I want this show to build and build.
- Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer - I can't believe this!
Why did you call me? You are the last person I expected to call me.
Mr. Kaufman will only appear in half the episodes of Taxi.
I will have this fraulein und the one with the big strudels.
From your eyes
To the jailhouse rock
He's the Southern heavyweight champion. He'll kill you.
Kaufman is out of it!
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Bed?
- It was so good. - I have to do Taxi, though, right?
very difficult for me to say.
- and again and again and again and again--
and we sort of got into a fight over it.
I did it! This is for real!
- Yeah - Oh, ho!
I, I think you can use some of those words on television,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Wow.
uh, dramatic purposes.
Oww!
And that's my father's old car.
You're-- You're terrific.
Every heart should be
Did you come down here to wrestle or act like an ass?
It's terrible. I-I do not even like it.
- You had a huge boner on national television. - Oh, man!
and wipe your hands with it...
This is great!
Aah.
Diane, this is George.
I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got, I swear to God.
I don't know.
so I guess that's too lofty a concept for you.
Andy
They'll deny it up and down, but believe me, it's true.
- Andy, you got a little something-- - Hmm?
I want no kicking, biting, scratching, head butts. Do you understand?
WILHELM: augh!
I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons
My father said I could've hired a lawyer and sued you for everything you've got.