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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Fuck you and your pussy. Get the fuck out of my face.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Cooling, right? I went in with my girlie, right?
What do you mean? We have a relationship.
Tomorrow
I'm gonna kick their ass?
Why not? She's special.
Are you carrying...? What is this? What is this?
I gotta tell you, be careful. And women ain't like us.
You got skeletons in your closet?
That's it! That's your job.
Got to be careful. They say having casual sex nowadays
Them little babies with them high-top white shoes on
That's when I got scared. I did some jokes about Mr. T.
lf I took Brooke Shields to the Grammys,
But I'm ltalian. Watch this. You watch this, all right?
I'm looking forward to seeing him in that leather suit.
Twelve million.
You know, because I'd fuck Mike up. You know, Mike...
Then, what's really fucked up, is y'all the most loving people.
Now, I'm going to tell you a story. He always tells you stories.
Then you grab it and get fingerprinted
and a big, fucked-up Afro!
I know you wanna leave me
They catch you with the pussy, see. And it's a trap.
You know what really make me mad,
I own myself. I am my own person.
and beat the shit out of their kids.
Raw Eddie Murphy
This house is too big for one person to clean. Why don't you leave?
'and ate a whole fucking game of Monopoly by yourself?'
Eddy
And if you gonna let a fuck come between our love,
Preme ...apple
and white people can't dance.
Now was have 300 million and 70 trays
why don't you shake your a** home.
Rt
You gonna be driving home tonight with your wife in the car like this:
You know how I knew y'all believed it?
he breaks this big fucking nigger's face.
Fuck you doing with Deney Terrio?
I don't know. You better lift up the window
I got McDonald’s
is like playing Russian roulette.
Then you go out and your friends be, Yo, man, you fuck her yet?
What? Lillian, Eddie had a fight in a disco with Deney Terrio
Know when your woman's gonna fool around?
Punch him in the face, Ed.
no matter what you say, no matter what you do, as long as you say:
Thank you!
Stop. You lying motherfuckers, stop.
and I'd come inside the room and cut your dick off.
At about 5:00 in the morning, the child comes through the door.
Eddie, what's wrong with you?
Are we gonna go too far?
So Many Skeletons
I got foreigners from all over walking up, going:
Went on television and said:
And it won't be no siren, it'll be a real fag sitting on the roof going:
Jerry........
Do I need to bring anything? You do have salad right?
I don't give a fuck. I ain't getting on nobody.
And you don't get a contract and get married without one
I say, 'What did he do?'
Each day my mother would wake up and open 1 1 Twister games, Eddie.
My ego said, Now talk some shit so people know not to mess with you.
I want to talk to you!
Like I just walked out on-stage and cursed and left.
You know what I like about Stallone's movies?
When you know that “ish” don’t make no sense!
They got dudes in the doctor's office with symptoms like, Excuse me, doc,
They like it just as much as us. See, ladies sitting there going:
they never from the town you meet them in.
American women stick together. Last thing they wanna see
ltalians are funny people, because they act like niggas. lt's funny.
Half! I'll take half his shit!
I see a lot of you ladies going:
Fuck You angel
Oh Ehaw That's just jokes
I'm tired of people messing with me.
STAND UP AND CLAP!! STAND YO ASS UP AND CLAP!!
Sonia Sonia
a birthday feast for my father.
Don't that make you mad, right? You know what really make me mad?
when your ass don't cooperate with you
No, we couldn't afford a cake.
Well...
You gotta have some money, you can't get no pussy.
He probably punched you for something you did
I was praying he wouldn't answer the phone,
Then you get married, because you think you've found the bomb.
And I'd be at a party and have Michael walk up to me one day
This is my house! I don't give a fuck!
I've been trying for five months to do the moonwalk
no matter what you want, she has the ingredients at home.
I'm gonna take the old rules off and put new rules up.
Just fuck, mother... Fuck me, goddamn it.
And I'm gonna bring her home and lock her up in the house.
Y'all do that... You ever have a woman play-fight with you?
And then you change the shit around. Right, guys?
Are you...? You're not gonna answer it?
Look, all the men's faces, they're like this now:
Don't let the lights and cameras throw y'all.
We didn't have fancy luxuries like food.