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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
What you talking about?
Every vote... Ass. Ass, ass, ass. That's what it is.
You know, it's good to be back where it all started for me.
I think we should just call up Kanye
And that's why I like you.
on behalf of the Boys and Girls Club of Chicago.
Preach.
...but then they want us to do it.
That's gonna cost you, like, a stack.
Y'all little niggas better be.
Come on, Eddie. Represent now.
Yeah, I'm here to see One-Stop.
You're saying no, but that's not what you mean, Rashad.
I told you not to take those down.
I don't know anybody in Catholic school.
If you wanna be like, you know, Cater 2 U Beyoncé,
And their accents were so thick,
WBBM news time, 6:32.
Chill out! Chill out! Look...
You think that's your boy?
It went away.
When you gotta put her in her place
You got a lot of nerve showing up here.
Homeboy be rocking six-inch stilettos and a perm,
Because you never gave up on me.
Draya, don't worry about that. I got some
Man, I can't believe y'all put all that money on your heads,
Okay, that was a good one right there.
like it's an unemployment office.
Come on, girl!
just completely unappetizing to the human palate.
- No, no, no, no! - You don't talk!
Yeah, man. The Vice Lords don't play that.
Okay.
I'm Calvin. This is my shop, man. What can we do for you?
That's the reason that we have to keep going
If I take that check, that check goes away.
If you can't understand that, I'm sorry.
All right. Okay. All right, okay. Cool.
Calvin's shop, Bree speaking.
I mean, but that's what dudes want, they want that fantasy.
I need your help. It's Jalen.
I might take you up on that one day.
So just because you take some long dramatic pause
You don't work, you don't get paid. Okay?
He's old and decrepit!
I appreciate you coming through here.
Ah, y'all gonna be divorced in a minute.
Half these hoes weren't even registered to vote before he ran for president.
I've been around a long time here, son.
thank you.
Thank you! Appreciate it.
Do y'all need a minute? Because we'll all leave.
I bet you he won't be talking back to his mama no more.
No, baby. I'm tellin' you, we did nothing.
It felt like... I thought you was...
It's not a bad deal.
Knead it, knead it! Knead it
- Oh, Angie is the one you're speaking to. - Now you got it.
Not to put your business out there, but Terri does make more.
- I wish you would, boy! - Jay!
he was involved in that fight, which turned out to be gang-related.
I know who you're talking about.
- I'm gonna see you again next week. - Okay.
Love you, Dad.
Do you know what cuttin' off these streets is gonna do to traffic?
Ooh, bait and switch.
and wishing you a good morning!
I'll talk to their coach.
I'm gonna need the support of my partner
Mmm.
Um, I don't come off as gay, do I?
I'm straight.
All I'm doing is workin', brother.
Yeah, keep it pushing.
- Oh, come on, man! - You watch that booty shaking!
I didn't come here to bring anybody down, okay?
I'm happy for you.
Nothing we've done has worked.
I know how it be, being a little homie. You know?
And he don't make that much.
That's what I'm talking about!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
He said, Have a blessed day.
Rashad, I got your sheen spray for you.
Relax, Adrian Peterson.
and open it up for you.
What do you say, Eugene?
Obama makes sure you get all that birth control that you need.
Draya is right, we need some incentive to bring people out.
Michelle, now, that's different. She got them childbearing hips.
in me number of homicides in Chicago in the last year.
It's lush, it's beautiful,
So what does that mean for the average black dude walking down the street?
Chicago,
- Can I get a selfie with you? - What?
R. Kelly? For a kids benefit?
He named himself to it. So, he's Swiss. He's Swiss.
'cause you ain't care about what we think.
I don't care about no basketball.
I ain't leave you nowhere, man.
for moving the shop,
Slow down.
.
and then don't be having no money for your rent.
You know the rules, baby boy.
and he can still get it.
But sometimes a brother needs to hear it.
Are we good or not?
You know, I'm gonna have to get that thing from you.
The most powerful man on the planet is black.
The whole reason he's living with Rashad
Bye.
We're asking y'all for 10 minutes.
I made a mistake.
If you can get this to be a trending topic on Twitter,
Look, Kanye a Kardashian now.
That's R. Kelly's favorite.
Thirty-five guaranteed and four with incentives.
alternative documentation,
for giving all my money to the first.
We are trending.
But we just asking for two days.
The city plans to gate off 20 blocks,
Shh! You're good. You're good.
What them pockets do, little daddy?
- Yeah, I hear you. - I'm not playing.
After what we just heard? We gotta send him somewhere!
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Calvin, before I take that check,
It's Barack right there. You can tell by the ear.
Ghetto office.
I appreciate you saying that.
I own the shop with Angie right here.
Damn!
- No offense, Draya. - None taken, girl.
My father used to out both of your heads!
Y'all in here complaining about our weaves,
we just need people from the city
- It's all good. - Stay in your lane.
It doesn't matter how much a woman tries to live up to your fantasies.
- Hey. How ya doing? - What's up, man?
What's up, G?
These kids, they like to kill each other.
- Exactly. - I told you.
Not yet, Raja.
He already had planned to
was looking for, like, a third girl to help you out,
geg
Yes, sir, it's Cayman Kelly stretching and yawning,
Doesn't matter if she fixes him a special batch of vegan chili,
It isn't even out yet, man. It's not even on the market.
Yeah, I'm good.
I was telling these kids how I used to cut
No, No, No Destiny's Child Beyoncé,
My husband said that this whole thing started
They're supposed to look like that.
You think this is a game, nigga?
Right, right.
Can't even go to the barbershop no more
Angie, this conditioner should last you for the next two weeks.
I don't care what happened!
Now, I told you, me and my wife, we want that shop.
That bitch was swole.
Draya, it fell...
I knew I wasn't tripping the other night.
It's just not at all African-American.
Okay, come see me.
- I'm Angie. Hi. - Yeah.
I mean, the gangs have us scared.
Let's be reasonable.
You are living proof that there are superheroes
And you need to read a newspaper.
I'm in.
Guychat. Guybarber. Snapchat.
- No, I got this. - Okay.
Look, some of them don't even know how to microwave.
But who cares?
Why'd you have to be the one?
He has a standing appointment with me every other week.
I can't be caught outside with no car and it's dark and they're shooting...
It's all good, Calvin.
Look, Nana...
So you playing celebrity barber and I'm Mr. Mom now?
I think he wasting my time.
Now if you end up on the Bulls, your daddy got to go everywhere with you.
You know what, I've happened to have enough of him.
They so good, they're gonna make a Vice Lord give a GD a foot massage.