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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
I won't forget this, Melon.
Hi there. Are you a large person?
- Yo, Dad. - Jason, hold it, will ya?
Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt.
What dive is he gonna do?
MELON! WE NEED YA GET YOUR SUIT ON!
Yeah, you're short and ugly. Give me the pen back, will ya?
All right, 11:00. But I'm gonna talk to that dean.
He wants you to dress up as Wonder Woman...
Don't go! It's rough out there!
I don't joke about dives.
#BOKNOWS
The girls don't like me, the fraternities don't want me.
- or do you actually read this? - I read this. It's Karl Marx.
I think he's on a three-state killing spree.
Whatever it is I have said here today...
Put your hand right over there, will you?
Jason, you don't lie to me. You lie to girls.
I'd like to break him in 27 parts.
That's the spot, baby.
if you got people doing your work for you!
That's the problem.
You're always so neat.
Come on, pal. Show 'em what you got.
Poke your hotness, meow our goo Oh feel ya, hold some of my balls
and it's really sweet, and it's really not working.
Hi!
Then there's the kickbacks to the carpenters.
'Cause we're already waiting.
You have no class, Thornton, and I am tired of it.
There's Valerie Desmond.
What do you want me to do, torture him?
Boy, you were somethin' else.
I mean, stay in school. Study harder.
- And what's this? - Your astronomy report.
Thank you. I'm dead.
we're going to jump right in with both feet...
Take it easy. It's the first day.
I think you'll find it very interesting and a lot of fun.
Nuts, huh? Who made the rules? Come here. I'm going to college!
Where's the lab report on psychology?
But don't step in number two.
Mr. Melon, do you understand?
You got a major paper coming up on Kurt Vonnegut.
When's our first class?
Hey, watch my sandwich, will you.
Mr. Melon, no matter what you do...
The answer is... four?
Without an education, he's nothing.
who's the dean of our school of business.
You ought to teach them how to go to the bathroom.
Hey, he's my idol.
Yeah, I know.
the quick and the dead.
Hold it. That's it.
WHO’S NEXT?
All right, I'll say it.
He's an attendant in the men's room.
Hey folks, it' on me! Sex toys for everyone, ok?
Haven't you ever messed up?
We Need YA
Don't!
in the tape machine every hour and observe the animals.
and is fully serviced by all utilities...
It's clear the work you've handed in is not your own.
I was just lonely, I guess.
Do you remember it?
what's with the midget over here?
I can't believe it. We could actually win this.
Like what, for instance?
but I wish I knew you were coming.
Melon.
if you want to look thin, you hang out with fat people.
I love you, too.
- Is that your real hair? - What do you think?
we're both intelligent, well-educated adults.
Did you read mine yet?
Thank you very much.
Say, how about joining me and my friend over there?
This is college. Let me think for a minute.
"I just had dinner!"
What a surprise. Another shit-faced Melon.
Perfectly understandable, Mr. Melon.
I guess there's nothing you can't do.
There was a guy, did the most amazing dive...
The thing is, I'm sort of going with someone.
And a special thanks, of course, to Mr. Thornton Melon...
- She's very proud of it. - I'm proud of mine, too.
- Is it because of last night? - No. I can accept the fact...
this is the way I always pictured it.
OK, go with it.
You have got midterms coming up.
and to suck up to you for donations.
'Cause Truman was too much of a pussy wimp...
It sounds like fun. I wish my dad were more like yours.
Then let's just say they're widgets.
Home sweet home.
took the United States off the gold standard.
We'll construct our physical plant...
Excuse me. Have you seen Thornton Melon?
Whoever did write it doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut.
Yeah, but a great view. You're all right, officer.
Thornton, do you remember when we discussed...
I wanted to apologize for the other night...