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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
I think them dumb Polacks been ridiculed enough.
Hey, well-- But why can't I make a gag out of this?
Excuse me! Ladies and gentlemen, please.
Tony Clifton is Andy Kaufman.
Hey, baby
Um...
Just continue your meditation. I'll be back.
But when it comes to wrestling--
I do not wrestle men!
I'm-- I'm a badperson.
- Okay. - Okay.
then ABC is just gonna have to... give me what I want!
You're not a stand-up, and, uh,
To wander along with you
I'm going to reveal for the very first time,
Hear those sleigh bells jingle-jangle
on the back of my neck.
but what you can't do is throw coffee.
It's my buddy's first time with a prostitute.
Even if you don't like the person sitting next to you. Okay?
- a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me...
- I got spurs that jingle-jangle-jingle
Tonight I had to come...
This woman is a fake!
That's-- That's what negotiations are all about.
I don't wanna have anything to do with this. Nothing.
I was in the hospital three days, in traction.
I'm sorry.
- And the pig goes - Oink.
I can't play stoned.
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
Strangers sitting around, stuffing dead animals into their faces.
In this friendly friendly world
I'll get up in the ring...
Ah.
Man] We want the truth, boy!
- We're not worrying at all
I mean, maybe I could go on the show and I could say...
- These guys have seen your foreign man character. - Yeah?
putting Andy back on Saturday Night Live.
coming in the ring, pushing me around!
Th-That's the way Andy wants it, with the rolling.
Now, Andy, did you hear about this one
I can do it!
- Closed the place down. - "There's a fuckin' lion, man! A lion!"
Come on! You wanna take me?
That's funny,
I-I recognize him from The In-Laws.
Well, people love comedians.
And you don't know why it's there, but it's there.
that year by year recedes before us.
Oh, whether I find a place in this world
- And the cat goes - Meow.
named--
Carnegie Hall!
Um--
- And it's gotta stop. - Andy.
I am the champion! No woman can beat--
your act doesn't exactly translate itself to film, so--
- Then nothing is cool - Nothing
Look, uh,
- Go home! - Volare
Volare
Uh, but we--
- Bob, Bob, Bob. - Okay?
- Hello, Andy. Hi. - Hello ?
Yeah, you are.
- Yeah, well-- - I was not satisfied.
And this is Melonia. How's my little produce department?
a great deal more than that."
Whoop-de-doo, whoop-de-di!
Everything okay... Carl?
I choose you
Dad?
- Andy, this is every comedian's dream! - I'm not a comedian.
It would mean my very life
He's just engaging the audience. He's riling them up.
How you must feel
into a lovable, goofy mechanic...
- Very well then. - Yeah, "Mighty Mouse"!
Andy! Ohh!
"In consequence,
It's fun, George!
- Crankshaft! - Who is this?
mopping the floors,
Do I wanna go to Memphis and get married?
I mean, what are you gonna do--
I do a clean show here.
You can say, "Santa, what am I getting for Christmas this year?"
It's hysterical. It gets very funny.
I reviewed that script last night and I was not satisfied.
Andy, you don't understand.
Ca-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa wantare
Fuck you! Ok?
- My Rose Marie - Two adults, please. Thank you.
I hope I didn't offend you.
I've got to be
Yeah, yeah, well, I'll take my chances, all right?
- Why don't we-- - So I made a few changes.
- Is something wrong? - No, everything's okay. Fine.
You look thin!
Is there a doctor in the house? Stop the music!
it-it was so much traffic.
- You'll let me win? - I'll let you win. I'll let you.
- Santa and snow and-- - Yeah.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Uh-oh, Kaufman got nailed with something.
As I go ridin' merrily along
- Hi, Andy. - How are you?
It's called large-celled carcinoma.
And the lion goes--
I cried when he broke his neck. He's not getting me again.
Then, then help me. Help me, okay? Guide me.
How can I help you?
An audience is made of people, people who live and breathe.
Hey.
You just--
No wonder my happy heart sings
stretch our arms out further,
But it's gonna cost a fortune.
World
- Okay. - Okay.
Good-bye, everybody! Thank you! Good night!
No, no. Drop it now, Andy!
Would anybody like to pay a dollar to touch my cyst?
Hey, I really enjoyed your set.
What?
Well, I've always wanted to play Carnegie Hall.
Or we could skip the meal and go right to the "montage a trois."
and spread to his left arm.