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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
They're like pit bulls. They can smell fear.
...he is idiosyncratic, cerebral...
That's harsh.
Not philosophy, women's studies.
By working together. Right, Portia?
You can do this.
And I need him to meet this applicant.
- Why don't you just shut up. - No, you shut up!
I love this. I love this bean salad.
You don't need any commitments right now.
- Can I help you? - You're doing a great job.
Come on, Portia. Make us fall in love.
It's amazing. Exactly.
She borrowed it to pick you up after you had the baby.
Yes. Thank god.
What happened? Are you OK?
I want so much for you to be happy and...
So this is your parents' place?
I'm an idiot.
And last, we come to the end.
This is Jeremiah's birth certificate.
I wonder who my birth parents are
What are you doing? You're not allowed in here!
OK, OK, I heard you.
I thought it was important to acknowledge that it's maybe-
Well, let's vote.
No, goodbye. Thank you. This was so much better than kale.
Yeah, she's fine.
Yeah?
Can you please e-mail me your information and I will call you back?
Back in college. And I gave him up for adoption.
But I think she has other plans.
No really.
I knew Shelley. Your roommate at Dartmouth.
Why would I want to speak with a high school student?
I just... I want you to know that this...
Wail, wait.
DOE, JOHN
Portia, we need to talk.
And then...
Mom?
They're not very educated.
Alice's mother was murdered.
Do you think you have room for one more in your life?
Hey Princeton, what are you doing?
That's what a healthy relationship is.
- From where? - Outside. Gophers, squirrels...
Maybe talk about the application process, since we're new to it?
Anyway, it's the best thing I ever did...
Here's the crazy part.
He's the most brilliant student I've come across.
Since 1841, every male in my family has attended the place.
The guidance counselor called me. We never had a shot at him.
will be filled with superhumans.
Thousands.
Look, I want Jeremiah to go to Princeton because he wants to go to Princeton...
- In the box? - What?
- Do you think he might fail? - Maybe.
Do you guys want to see Descartes philosophize backwards?
...for you to have all the things that you want in life.
It is good.
I don't know what you're talking about and you need to leave.
Well, Nelson, sure...
Do you want to defend the innocent and secure justice for all?
Well, be sure to include all of that in your recommendation.
I'll never really understand your admissions system in America.
Come on, come on. Right now!
I'm so sorry, I've got an emergency.
two hundred and forty one applications last year.
I put my name in at the adoption agency and they contacted me-
If I had to do what I was supposed to be doing every minute of my life, like you do...
DENY
It kills me.
You didn't want a family.
- Now. - Portia, wait-
People, everyone, please.
Because I was raised by sheep.
As a mother myself, I know the importance of teamwork.
When I was eight years old...
So I hear.
Because it happens either way. It happens either way.
That's so funny.
And the relevance of all this is?
She resigned in protest over funding for the girls' sports program.
And that Woolf woman.
And please, rest assured, that nothing...
For the sake of learning. His passion for knowledge.
Yeah!
Portia, I'm having twins.
- It turns out Jeremiah was a stale champion- - In what?
Unfair advantage?
Portia, dear.
It is very important that you not tell Jeremiah a thing about...
I think my voracious reading came from a deep longing for something that was missing.
There isn't room for every perfectly nurtured,
Portia! Wait, wait!
This isn't a child, it's an applicant.
There's no point in trying to impress me
I can fix this. I'll contact adoption services-
Then I think there was an evaluation card that was placed on the wrong file.
Who likes assholes? I guess that's me.
Actually, I think we met the last time I was here.
I like him.
I don't mean just stumble walking like an infant or a toddler...
...and I'll tell you, they get so in the way, it's unbelievable.
Exactly.
but he thought you might be in need of some comfort and guidance.
It has been in the same place for a hundred and fifty million years.