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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your syphilis.
- She's a grandma. [laughs] - So she's a... I am.
No, I can do that.
Otherwise, you know, people think you're talking about something else.
- You look... Hello! - Look at you.
That's not what he's saying, though, is it?
[both laugh]
- Yeah. - [sighs]
'Cause, for the most part,
[man] Mascotting is not unlike a marriage
No. I couldn't resist.
- I'm sorry for my... I don't know what I... - That's all right.
- Yeah. - So that was the weird thing
Okay, right.
but you know, they ate it up, so to speak.
There's the standard, "He runs, he kicks, he's got 100 pricks.
Well done. You should be a therapist, you should be.
[audience laughing]
Yeah, my lawyer almost killed me, but I did it.
- Sorry about that. - Sorry. I guess we can't help ourselves.
- Are all these kids blind? - Oh, yeah, they're all blind. All of them.
[Mike] You're at the wrong event! You don't belong at the Fluffies!
All those years in the shop, I used to say to you,
- I teach English. - [chuckles] Yeah.
- in that it's about cooperation... - [woman] Mm-hmm.
nursing my shattered ribs and my pulsating groin,
More like he was going for loose change, if you know what I'm saying. All right?
and the team isn't called the Leaping Squaws anymore.
- Yeah, it's fun. - And it's fun.
Okay, well, that was too...
[Tommy] Dicknuts.
I would second that.
And you were like, "I wish we could have eaten these popsicles beforehand."
What was it all for, huh?
Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky...
[man on radio] Its 9:00 a.m. and 71 degrees in beautiful Anaheim,
Get it? [laughs]
- little bit on my blouse. - [groans]
and we never really lived down the name the Channel That Killed Santa Claus.
Oh, all right.
Knock, knock, knock. Hello.
[upbeat music playing]
Oh, the greedy little bugger. Do you have any coins?
Dogs are funny, aren't they?
And then he wants to sniff it. He wants to sniff all my bags.
I thought the guy was going for my wallet, so I turned around real quick.
and for me, the glass is not half empty, and the glass is not half full.
- [Mindy] Would you throw the ball? - Yeah, I'll throw it.
It might just be hers.
[grunts softly]
and to be appreciated for excellence in my field...
He's missin' a little button at the end of his act,
I studied music and dance therapy here at the college,
[Phil] I think the mascot is as important as any member of the team.
- It hasn't always been easy. - Yeah.
I've come up with what I like to call the scented cup.
About some of the prep, that I call it, for the show.
That's Tiny. Did you meet him? The Worm?
I'm gonna do the ladder routine that I've been working on.
Come on now. We talked about this.
Hanging from a cliff, you know, from a technical climb,
[Laci and Cindi chuckle]
That's like first place, really, but it's a weird first place, and, uh...
for the World Mascot Association Championships.
- We did it. - Yeah.
If I lived then, I'd be on the right, be something different, be fun, go nuts.
but instead, he was promised an empire.
Yeah, 'cause they're... It's an outfit.
That's you people.
Talk to your Native American friends.
The sushi...
- So, it's a bit of a family tradition. - It's a family tradition.
It's been an emotional day 'cause we lost someone today.
from Amelia Earhart College for Women in Mississippi,
at a charity event that she's organizing for a group of disadvantaged children.
- Okay. - But I need another person.
just being inside of him.
I spread it out.
Jack the Plumber.
[crowd applauding]
Yeah. Me too.
- That's family progress, eh? - Wow.
I can't tell you how excited I am to be here.
[Mike] I'll go to hell with ya.
And no winner was unanimous.
- We done a little baby, didn't we? - Yeah.
I'll tell you what,
and I think I've had maybe, oh...
Yeah.
Courage. You're drinking for courage.
I make a third of the money, but I'm 50% happier, so...
Tommy Zucarello, plus one.