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Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase,
I don't fucking believe this.
- Check this out. ...dressed as Kick-Ass.
Shit.
I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder
"I'm Just Fucking With You, Daddy."
No!
Fuck me
And three assholes
All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me.
Look at this asshole just watching.
Oh, child.
He must have taken that right before he died.
You look sharp. Look at all them buttons. Do your job. Open the fucking door.
Whoa! Whoa! Boss, what are you doing?
has decided to take crime-fighting to a new level,
However you lived before,
In the 18 months since my mother died,
Hot Chocolate, Extra Marshmallows.
My condolences, Frank.
I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0.
Hey, don't do this! You don't need to do this!
Yeah?
Chris is Red Mist?
Hey! God! No, please, please!
Fuck off
- and you don't deliver, that's when. - Give me a break. It's been a week.
Hello?
or an apology for the black eye he'd given her.
The kerosene.
Shut the fuck up, kid. Your daddy's the boss. You go home.
- Okay. - We had a deal, Dad.
He must be someone's son, someone's brother,
I wasn't a mathlete or a hardcore gamer.
I said, who really sold you our coke?
- Is that yours? - Meet the Mist Mobile.
Do you think they got them?
- Dave. - Yes?
You're the kindest daddy in the whole world.
What kind of children's enter-fucking-tainer is that?
I love you.
I've never met anyone who's as beautiful and as kind and lovely as you.
it's only a matter of time before Gigante is looking for you.
So you want to play.
That's okay.
Chris, you got to look at this from my point of view. Okay?
Yeah, a cuddly, fluffy one.
Come on then, bring it on!
- 700 miles an hour. - 700 miles an hour.
They make the best white chocolate mocha latte.
Shit.
Hey, come on. Hey, I know some very bad people uptown,
Guardian of the universe.
And if you're reassuring yourself
Excellent, good.
I...
Why can't I have a gun? I'm a security guard.
I rerouted your IP address. Finding you was way too easy.
It's a little kid. What's the matter with you?
- Don't kill him till I get there. - Right.
The AR-15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design?
I said, what the fuck are you looking at?
No, no, no! It's me, it's me!
Go on. Yeah, I think it did.
You better fire this asshole.
What?
Except that wasn't true.
Dave Shouldn't You Be Looking At Hamlet Right Now?"
Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae.
who calls himself Kick-Ass is about to be shown live.
I got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out?
I always wanted to say this.
What do we do?
- Fuck. - No. No, no, no.