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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Are you shitting me? No, he's fine. He's with me.
So now I'm getting fucked in the ass by a ghost?
Katie Deauxma's all about the lame ducks.
Yes, it is.
Please open your books to Act 2, Scene 2.
What is this? What am I looking at here?
Vigilante justice, mass murder. Come on, partner.
- Capes rock. - Yeah, I'm kind of feeling the cape.
What, are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is this?
I'm not high.
- Give me the bag. - It's just comics.
Going up against a crowd can get kind of scary, don't you think?
Do you wanna deal with owing my dad?
- He lie about... - Fucking mamaluke.
Well, do you think they can help us?
but all I did was make a door into a world I'd dreamed about
- Shit! - Let's get out of here!
I'm sorry. Did you see this cat?
I, for one, would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance.
- Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up? - What's up?
You're fucking crazy, kid.
Please.
He should call himselfAss-Kick instead.
who gives a shit about the fucking lumber!
Hey. Hey, man, can you hear me? Hey.
I didn't say we should talk to him. I just...
Look, I'd love a Benchmade Model 42 butterfly knife.
No, he's with me. He's okay.
- Kick-Ass... - Get him out of here. Get him out of here.
- Dave, you should totally go. - Go.
You wanna go fight some crime?
...are gay. - Gay?
You know what? Todd said they do still make Count Chocula.
That's not me, by the way.
Your call, but you know we're around if you need us.
In America, we say "stick" like this. Baseball bat.
Good at getting his ass kicked.
Tony Romita, one of America's most-wanted crime kingpins,
- See you later. - God, see you.
He promised he wouldn't.
He got something to do with you, Damon?
And my world was much safer with all the new superheroes.
You are fucking awesome.
it didn't take much to set me off.
- Hi! - Hi, sweetie.
Boy, I don't know.
- Yeah? - Just got the text. He's on his way.
I know this sounds fucked up, Frankie, but that guy in the picture,
X-Men, the Fantastic Four, right now, I envy the crap out of them.
No, it's not even hero. It's just fucking psycho.
No.
What are you doing? What the hell is that thing?
I swear, when my hormones balance out,
That's a fucking lie!
You guys never saw One Night in Spider-Man?
I ever heard, Tre.
Spider-Man gets the girl.
What the fuck is going on?
Chris, where do you think you're going?
Joe, you're in charge.
Big Brother, watch and learn.
Kick-Ass?
Hey.
Mommy I want a kick-ass Party Dumb Little Fucks
You know what this is?
something to lose.
Kill every single fucking guy on my payroll?
- Everything okay? - Everything's all right, boss.
I don't know, if you wanted me to be your sidekick or something...
They still have that metal detector at your school?
I'm Kick-Ass.
Show time.
He would have wanted me to finish what we started.
- Boss, we gotta go, man. Come on, let's go. - Fucking scumbag!
I just need to clean my...
it is now clear that the hostages are in genuine danger,
I got it.
but it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest.
...on the latest corruption scandal. And coming up after the hour,
Sure. Thank you.
Okay, when I tell you, stop the car. Ready?
How about both of us being dead? Is that serious enough for you?
What the...
Everything was out of control. I didn't know what the hell to do.
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
They're all dead! Everybody in the warehouse is dead.